i want to be married by 25..cause i just don’t want to marry late. by the time i have a child i will be too old etc. people rather work on their career but i really want to be married by 25!!

my mum is older than me by 43 years. haha..my dad, 44.. we do argue but they’re ok. more or less than often we see eye to eye about things..though it took them awhile to become this understanding. they only became this way when they became christians. before that..gawd..the most unreasonable parents ever!!

i wanted to marry young. but wow 19/20 is REALLY young! even when i tell people i wanna get married at 24-26 they’re already o_Oing me!

Wah…no kidding. Then you better migrate to Japan. There are lots of young mothers there.

Ok ok…serious. Are you sure you want to have a kid like now…at this age? Lots of things you will have to forgo. Including going to school. Look at my sis. She’s already stressing whether or not to go to uni coz if she gets married around now and have kids, she won’t be able to go for further studies. Which also means giving up her dreams.

hehe.. you say that to my friends, they’d think you’re crazy! =). but perhaps it’s just cultural differences. after each generation, the time couples have kids seem to increase — in america. that’s at least how it seems.

anyways, i wouldn’t worry. even if you are 25, you’ll still be lookin pretty =p.

or maybe it’s because im a guy.

I agree with you on this entry. I would want to get married at the minimum age of at least 21 or 22. I don’t want the same thing to happen to my son/daughter like what happened to me and my mom. the difference in our ages ranges farther than yours :/ it really really sucks cause I can’t get that “sister” relationship with her and my mom is barely there in helping me out cause she’s so aged/helpless. nadine, you’re still very young and I’m sure things will work out for you later, even if nobody may agree with you 🙂

My mother and I are 37 years apart — I know what you mean. I can never really talk to her about a lot of things, and I guess that still kinda disappoints me. My cousin married young and had a baby young — she’s 20 now. She actually got married behind her parents’ back. Of course, they were extremely angry at first, but they learned to adjust to it, since of course nothing could be undone. And everyone seems ok now, especially since the new addition to the family. I’ve always told myself that I’d wait after I finish all my studies to marry and have children.

I guess everyone’s circumstance is just different. But then again, nobody can really go out to find love — love has to find you.

Paris hilton also wants to marry and have kids young just like her parents but she’s like 23 or 24. It hink marryign young and having kids young is good for some ppl btu not all. It’s all your choice. My mom got married at 19 and didn’t have me or my brothe untill she was 28 and 32

My mum and I are 35 years apart, and we can still communicate. Being able 2 communicate with ur kid doesn’t mean u must haf a smaller age gap… there are still those kids with young mums and they still fight ANYWAY. It’s about building the relationship through love, communication and understanding.. everything’s a give and take.

Every1 has different thinking of when they want to get married. Some wld lyk 2 marry young, others, older. Just a thought for u: If u get married young, wld u live to regret it later on in life? There are many sacrifices u haf 2 make if u marry young: You give up ur whole entire life, u gotta make sacrifices for the family and kids, and when ur friends are partying outside, u wld be at home stuck with the kids. Of course, u might find that 2 be more fulfilling, I wouldn’t noe. But marrying young has its pros and cons I guess.

Even though u say u’ll be optimistic and u’ll be strong and be able 2 cope, think again: REALLY, would u? There’s so many things that u hafn’t experienced, wad makes u think u can cope with them? It’s definitely not ez, which is why so many ppl marry late, cos many think they are not ready 2 cope with such problems.

Of course, u might say now that u erk at the thought of getting married after 24, but who noes, u might change ur mindset after a while… knowing u. 😉

age dif btwn me & my mum is 19years ..it’s cool i guess[heck lah it’s damn fun..] but yeah i’ll never be ready even if that dude is ready but we wait another 5 years

it’s interesting that you talk about wanting kids because today at lunch my friends and i were just talking about wanting kids. i also agree with you with wanting to give your kids the things you may not have gotten, even if they are luxuries. AND i also know what you mean about having an old mom. my mom is 35 years older than me so i know what you mean when you talk about an older mom. i remember that i didn’t want my daughter to have an old mom either. but now i’m 25 and i’m not married, and i’m not going to be anytime soon. if i’m lucky, i’ll have my first kid when i’m 30. well, i orginally planned to be married by 25. but the funny thing about life is that things rarely turn out as you plan. and there’s nothing i can do. i hope things work out for you, and no matter what happens in the end, i do hope you end up happy.

gah, i wanna have kids young. but i dun wanna get married. seriously, i rather have a kid out of wedlock than get married.

Hmm.. To me, the best age to get married is around 26 and have my first children when I’m 27. I don’t want to get tied down so young. I enjoys freedom. Cheer up 🙂 Oh and one last thing.. You never know what will happen in the future.. your dreams may be waiting for you… =D

wow. that’s real young, seriously. 23 and 24 doesn’t seem that bad. i guess its your attitude that makes the difference with ur r/s with ur kid and not your real age eh?

wow it seems like you have everything planned. at one point i think we all do but things don’t always work out as planned. i am twenty six and i am not married and i have no kids. i thought when i was younger that i would but plans change as you age.

Uh… I always fantasized about myself joining a convent and starting a school in Ethiopia. Marriage was never part of my fantasy. XD

Hey, it’ll all happen in God’s timing. Don’t worry *hugs * My mother had me, her first child at age 28 and she got married at 20. Don’t be in such a hurry, I’m afraid you’ll end up regretting it.

You still have hope, though. That’s always a good thing 🙂

oh and being able to communicate with your child means nothing when you are finanically able to support them. that is why i have waited so long.

the difference between me and my mom is 23. I guess we get along better than my younger sister’s relatioship w/ my mom. You still have time don’t worry.

Wow, that is young to think about marriage… I’m the same age as you, and I’m not going to get married for a loong time! Yeah, me and my mom are 35 years apart…

the paradox of humans and marriage :\ when we’re young, we’re less likely to do a good job raising kids/keeping the marriage/job etc. but when we’re older and wiser, we’re … oftentimes too old! ach!!! well, you can get married when youre around 23 or so … my mom and i are 24 years apart, but the spites are few. 😀

I doubt I would ever EVER want to get married. Too many commitments. :X And somehow half my freedom would be gone. At least that is how I see it lah… Haha.

Then I remember before JC I kept telling myself not to get a boyfriend either. But that changed, for some reason. Bleah.

I think the age different between mothers and daughter don’t really matter in how they communicate.Between you and your mother generation,your mother been not as open minded to things as you because that’s how their generation lived.

Marrying at 19 is really too young.In today’s society,there is more than the 3 basic needs.We are happy with those,but the child might not.

And these days,people aren’t as committed as your parents.

I know that your a smart person and even if you think your childish dream may have left you can still have hold of that. I personally am not interested in being married nor having a child but each of us is different and that is what is important. If you know this is something that must happen in your life then if it is also meant to happen it will all fall into place.

I am a great believer in fate and perhaps you are just waiting for the perfect opertunity. The right guy or the right moment for your own mental state. But what ever the outcome always make sure your happy because you deserve that.

I love and adore my mum and she is my bestfriend. I know for some people it’s not the case but some do not have one *hugs*

Wow. I’ve never really thought of having children and getting married at 19. To me, that’s young. My ideal age would have to be after 23. By then, my career will be stable, and it’ll be the right time to start a family.

I never even knew most of my grandparents, let alone my great-grandparents. I am envious of those who still have living grandparents or great-grandparents, but that’s the life I’ve been dealt with. HEHE. Well, take care!

I married at 18 (I’m 19 now) and I have to say that sometimes marrying young and be good, sometimes it cannot be. It depends on the person. But, I do not think you are crazy for wanting to marry young.

As for the age gap between parents and child, I do not think that is important. I think what causes problems is the parents not keeping an open mind the the changing times as they age. They want to be “stuck in the good ol’ days,” if you will. So, I think you can still have a GREAT bond with your daughter as long as you keep yourself updated on the world around you. Point in case–my mother is 19 years older than me and we DO NOT get along at all. But, my grandmother is 63 and you could call us best friends. So, the age gap isn’t everything. It’s something to keep in mind. 🙂

I can relate to what you’ve posted. When I was a child, I thought the ideal age for a woman to get married is when she reaches 23. When I was in college, I realized that with the changing times nowadays, I don’t think I’ll be married by the time I turn 23. I’ll probably wait until I’m in my early 30’s.

You have to think about what ELSE you want in life besides having kids. Sure, most women (including me) want kids one day, and it’s a great blessing in life.
But they also take ALOT of work, time, patience, money, etc.
I would have finished college, started a career, enjoyed hobbies, travelled, etc. and I’m almost 30 with no kids yet. I’m not even married. But these days it’s common for women to marry later.
There may be pros to having kids early, but if you stop to think about it, is this ALL you want in life, to be a mom? Don’t you have other dreams?
I think that even if I’ll probably be over 30 when I have kids, at least I’ll have experienced life alot, and developed a better sense of who I am, and feel confident and satisfied with what I’ve done so far.
Kids will take at least 18 years of total devotion. You may want to do other things, etc but I believe in order to be a good mom, a person must put kids BEFORE them.
Sure you may have time sometimes to do your own hobbies, etc. But they will not take priority.
What happens when your kid leaves home and gets married with a life of their own? You may be in their life but you don’t know if they will move farther away or just have busy lives and not spend much time with you.
What if you find yourself in your 40s with no real career, and a disatisfaction with your OTHER dreams since you didn’t get a chance to fulfill them.
40s is still not old, but there are things you may have wished you did when younger, that you didn’t get a chance to do because you were busy with your kids.
You have to find yourself first before you have kids.

Hey there Dear, 20 is way too young to want to have children. Have you got your motorbike licence yet? How would you have a grand 21st birthday celebration with a baby crying and squirming in your arms, tired from having dealt with umpteen dirty diapers that day? What about that holiday to the beach with all your friends, and getting a job?

How would you handle juggling a job and a family? If you have loads of money – then yeah – you could spend quality time bring up your child. But probably – you will not be earning enough at such a young age to be paying for infant clothes, baby formula, childcare, medical bills, just giving birth costs so much…. Most people have never seen their great grandparents – it is not usual, anyway.

If you find someone, then by all means – let nature take its course. But until that great guy comes along – just focus on the more important things- yourself and your progress. And nothing frightens a guy more than a young girl who wants to get pregnant… Heck, HE will be frightened to death – thinking – how can I afford to have a family??? Cheerios dear. Good luck.

Additionally – I had initially planned on marrying at 32 and having kids before 35. But I just met the guy I love and I am 28 in August…. We are not financially secure enough to even marry – not to mention having kids… but then again – since you are from Singapore – perhaps you are quite well to do and guaranteed high-flying job and all that…

At any rate – I realised that now I want to rush into marriage and into having a family because it is better suited for health and retirement but absolutely not possible given that we have no savings, no jobs even… But even at 26 I was not ready for marriage and kids… I think that financially – you gotta have it planned… or just pray a lot… 😉

I’v e been officially married for 7 years, but have been together with my wife for 25. We have a beautiful 7 year old daughter who we both love very dearly.

I’ll cut to the chase: marriage is ruining my life and exacerbating a depressived condition which I’ve always had, but it was never as bad as it is now. My wife is a particularly controlling kind of person, and has almost no passion for anything or sense of humour. She was not like that at 16 when I met her – I was 17. Way too young to get seriously involved with anyone.

Now I’m 41 and extremely stressed from the moment I wake up, until I go to sleep. I am very unhappy being married – it is killing my spirit. I am a worldly, passionate, fun loving kind of guy, but she is very different. I feel so ‘boxed-in’ and ‘trapped’. There is so much I want to do, but hold myself back so I don’t have to explain myself, or feel guilty later. Marriage is ruining my life and I feel suicidal often, but my daughter always keeps me from doing something stupid.

I often think about leaving, getting my own apartment, and just doing whatever I can to get my life back again. I just want to live my life on my own terms again. Yes, marriage is give and take, and needs to be worked on, but she will never change and I have grown apart from her. Why prolong a toxic marriage that is fundamentally flawed. We haven’t even had sex in almost 1 year. The scary part is that I don’t want to have sex with her. We have been sleeping in separate beds for years…the sad truth is that I like it this way. I am dreading the day when she will re-join me in our bed. This feels marriage is wrong, wrong, wrong. Sure, we get along, and hardly argue, but that is because I tolerate so much unhappiness in silence.

I have developed many nervous ticks and I am constantly stressed out about this situation. Can anyone offer any thoughts, advice or help? I desperately want to move on with my life, but my marriage woes have paralyzed me emotionally. And now I have a daughter to worry about. Please help someone.