Not really. I think I am so dead.

But before I go into that, I would like to say that I am currently at Singapore Polytechnic at T2054 in a lab sitting right beside my dear PuPu Wen 😛
(I’ll be so dead if he suddenly looks up from his email that he’s busy typing and looks over to my screen on his right. Then again, I already am so dead.)

Today, as I said in my last entry, was Doom’s Day. So I came over here (SP) at 9.01 in the morning and sat for that aptitude test from 9.15 all the way to 11.15. It is really scary and depressing to find everyone younger than me and yet their designs seem so much more sophisticated. Okay, it’s nothing to do with the ages but still, it’s depressing.

And as I happen to get a quick view of the girl on my right frantically drawing, erasing and colouring, I felt the designs that I have come up with were rather amateurish.

I was so, so sad.

Not to mention so, so dead.

And I think after that test, my brains weren’t working very well because, well, I raised my hand to be the first one to be interviewed by—not one, nor two, but—three!—three lecturers. Okay, it was the same number as TP but the four chairs in front of me in that interviewing room were really intimidating.

I showed them my online portfolio and when the questioning started, I don’t know why my lower jaw just kept shaking, making me stammer as I talk. I wasn’t nervous, I felt really calm and in control, but somehow, that darn jaw just wouldn’t stop shaking. Not until I walked out of the room then did it stop.

What perfect timing.

If anyone asks how I failed this whole interview, I’ll have my jaw to be thankful for. Not.

I really have not much of an idea what I’m gonna do if I get rejected at SP and TP. Mother’s Plan B was for me to start on my career. And my 19-year-old-but-actually-15-year-old brain can’t seem to do anything but go, “What career?!”

I’ll probably be stuck as a waitress all my life. And I tell you, an old waitress looks really depressing. I’ve seen one served me, I know. It’s not that I’m against old people waitressing.

Really.