As most of my friends know, I have never felt stress before.

Back when I was 12, I remember grinning my way through PSLE as most of my fellow (smart) classmates groan their way through endless compositions, maths sums and chinese idioms.

Me? I was doing my homework and revision and my own comfortable pace.

I remember when I was 14, streaming was still part of the school system (it’s gone now), and I remember we had our papers in the hall. There was one morning before the science paper and everyone was cramming last minute information into their tired brains and I went about poking Faheema and joked around. “Why so stressed up?” I had asked with glee.

Stress was never part of my life.

Then there was when I was 16 where the major examination of my life took place. I remember mugging for my GCE O Levels but I remember playing as well.

I used to head to Parkway Parade’s MacD’s with Pauleon, Cailing and Sam Lee. Pauleon and Cailing would be studying for their Econs (A Levels) while Sam and I tackled Additional Maths questions (O Levels). The fun part was taking breaks. We would go up Parkway Builders to some pool/snooker/billard place (I have forgotten what it’s called) and play for an hour or so. After that, we would head back to MacD’s or move over to Burger King’s study room. (Yes! They actually built a sound-proof room for students like me!)

I admit I’ve felt pressure before. Be it from school or work or anything else, yes, I’ve felt the heat of pressure. But not stress. I have never felt it.

Wanting to do well in school has really affected me. I’ve been picking my nails (and now they’re all gone), scoring the school site for lecture/practical/tutorial notes, paying attention in class (I haven’t slept in a single class yet!) and doing my homework. Yet I know that somehow, I’m still rather behind in what the lecturers are teaching.

I never knew that a lazy bum like me wanting to get an A in everything would be so hard. Neither did I know that I would actually be worried about it. I’m such a heck care person!

Something is really wrong here. Dead wrong.