I miss my break.

I miss having nothing to do all day. Nothing in the sense that, well, nothing important, really. For the past two years, I did part-time jobs (nothing that brings home a stable income) concentrated on web designing, learning PHP, relaxing and collecting fats around my tummy.

Right now I have got tests to worry, assignments to rush, meetings to attend and commitments to accomplish. I still feel pretty loaded with everything that involves in school.

For the first time in my life, I love school. However, I feel like its eating the best of me. I don’t feel like myself anymore. In fact, I see myself in the mirror and I wonder: Who am I?

I am constantly worrying about my grades, trying my best to please my family, trying to set aside enough time for my boyfriend, also, to try and find my own time to do the things I used to love: basketball, badminton and running.

It doesn’t just stop there. There are also thoughts to think about. I have to think about my future. Not just career-wise but family-wise as well. So many options to consider, so many problems to talk through and to fix before taking a leap in any major decisions.

I feel like there’s not enough time. 24 hours a day is not enough.

At times, I wish to sleep my life away. Just slumber into deep dreams, floating from one illusion to another, one wish to another, a dream to another land.

I need a break.