It is funny how my passion ignites and dies off as quickly and as often as the sun rises and sets.

I love canoe polo. I always had when I was first introduced to the sport six years ago. However, back then, my body was not capable of handling such intense gym trainings. (Well, and as a matter of fact, I did not quite enjoy those gym sessions. Also, I was involved in five other extra curricular school activities as well.)

So, after a year of returning to school, I decided to join a sport to get my sporty-ness back. I had wanted to join the netball team again. But the team became rather snotty and accepted only really good players. Like that of the national standard kind. And me, being the usual mediocre that I always am (and, perhaps, always will be) I figured I would not be accepted into the netball school team.

Then, I remembered about canoe polo.

At the beginning, canoeing and canoe polo was amazing. The people were great; the team I was training with was a dream come true. However, as every good thing comes to an end, there are always cracks in that perfect vision.

As much as I love the sport and my team, it can be really trying and frustrating to meet with the same problems and difficulties over and over again. It is also really disheartening whenever one tries to solve these issues by coming up with solutions but to no avail.

That is why the passion to train for the current competition just fizzled and died.

It was not as though I did not try. I did. I did push myself. But it was not easy. So much so that every drag of my feet to the thought of getting out of the house to train became so unbearable, I decided to focus on other things in life.

However, the first match of this competition somewhat shook me awake, and brought back the fire to train hard for the next competition. I saw really good players who played. I saw players that improved tremendously. I saw teams that trained hard together and won match after match. I saw my own team struggling despite those that worked hard struggled in the matches.

I saw that I was a failure and that I had let my team down.

However, I am much more determined now (than ever) to train really hard for the nationals in September. I want my team to win a medal. I want my team to experience the sweet taste of victory. I want to show the other teams that my team is not weak, and that we can win something. I want to prove us right.

So I will do my best, as best that my best can be. I have a reminder now; I have a focus. I may be distracted at times due to circumstances that I can never control. But I hope I have good teammates who can guide me along with reminders in this journey to success.