I’ll Still Be Around
Wednesday, September 7th, 2005 @ 12:21
Tags: emotional · friends · girl · letters · memories · school
Dear FADU, ex-SPSU members and all that I have met from union,
Many may have been expecting it, some may have been surprised, few may even be shocked. But it is true nonetheless.
I cannot say that I am quitting. Quitting makes me sound like a total loser. I’m not one, am I? I was just simply advised by Mr. Tan to lay of my duties as a committee member for awhile until I feel like I am able to handle my workload.
Some folks simply just think that that is equivalent to quitting. I admit, I do wish I could. Quit, I mean.
When I first entered SP three years ago, the first batch of friends I made were from SPSU. I enjoyed their company, humour and the family-togetherness that attracted me from day one. I loved the way how things ran in the union.
Even though I got the ax a year later, I was still involved with SPSU, helping out with the Freshmen Orientation Camp every year. I was disappointed to learn that major changes have been made. Also, half of my friends left union because of internal unhappiness.
Despite that, I believed that things would go back to the old times. Oh, how foolish I was!
This year, after being accepted into SP and into SPSU‘s council, I was determined to gather manpower to help change the whole system back to the old days.
But it was not to be.
I find that no matter how much effort I place into the change, it results to nothing. I am a small fry in this organisation with no powers or influence. A Nobody.
I was warned beforehand. I related my eagerness to my friends, seniors and juniors. They were nice and kind, but did not believe that the old days would return. I was disappointed, but stayed strong. It was not until I experienced the “new” SPSU for myself, then did I realise the reality of things.
You want to change union, not that easy. You need to change their mindsets. Look at them, do you think they’ll change? They had this mindset when they entered Union, and they’re passing that mindset on to the next batch. Do you think you can change that?
Puwen was right. I should have listened to him.
It’s not that I’m proud because I’m the senior (where age is concerned) of the council. I have never felt that way before. Don’t accuse me of being proud and assume that I cannot work with my peers. You just don’t know what I’m going through. And you may never understand.
I see traditions being changed. I see modified versions of how things should run. I see the first years suffering while the second years push their duties to them. I see unfairness where positions are concerned. I see all work and hardly any play. I see the warmth and togetherness of the family gone. I see all these and I am deeply saddened.
What happened to my beloved SPSU?
I loved union. Mother believed that union was a bad influence on me. I argued and fought for union with my parents. My innocence was destroyed because folks whom I thought were my friends were backstabbing others in order to secure their positions. History was being related to me and it hurt to hear.
Union was a great place. But not anymore.
I still love SPSU, but a lot lesser. I love union from the old days. Not now.
I want to thank friends that I’ve made during the camp. Your fun, laughter and lameness made me feel at home. Thank you Terence, Shafiq, Ghalid, Geraldine, Nicole, Juliet, Amanda, Kent, Yong Xuan, Alwin, Justin… We should have stuck to FADU *small fond smile*
I’ll still be around.
Take care,
Nadine
i empatise with you. you are not alone in your struggle to change fucked up organisations and all that, and have failed.